We all heard that time is our most valuable resource, that it cannot be returned, not to turn back, and at the same time we continue to spend precious minutes, hours and even days to the right and left. Why is this happening? All the fault is several cognitive errors.
This happens to us every day. A neighbor comes and begins to talk about anything, but we politely nod, although in fact we are terribly in a hurry. Or colleagues begin to mate about some nonsense, and we allow us to draw ourselves into the conversation, without even thinking about how much time it takes him. Or we get a message from a friend: “Hey, I need your bright head here. Help?” – and then we agree. In fact, you can’t refuse an old friend?
The philosopher Seneca once noticed how stupid even the most intelligent people behave when it comes to protecting our own time: “None of us gives our money to the first person, but how many are given life! We are thrifted with regard to property and money, but we think too little about how we spend time – the only thing we should show the greatest stinginess ”.
Today, 2000 years later, we still allow our most valuable resource to leak through the fingers. Why? The entrepreneur and author of the book “How strong People solve problems”, Ryan Holide, believes that there are four reasons for.
We are sure that we have more than enough time
They say we live on average up to 78 years. It seems to be an eternity. That we should spend 20 minutes on this or that? Go to a meeting in a cafe at the other end of the city, spending an hour on the road, and even an hour back? No question, why not.
We do not realize that our time is of course there is no guarantee that everything will not end tomorrow. But, which is even more important, over time as with money: we not only spend a few minutes that are in our “wallet”, but also reduce the accumulated reserve.
We are afraid that others will not like our refusal
We do not want to think poorly about us, so we answer “yes” – or, in extreme cases, “maybe” even when we want to refuse more than anything else.
Ryan Holide recalls that he helped the appearance of children to get rid of this pernicious habit. Having become his father, he realized that when he takes on his own obligation, his two -year -old son suffers primarily. It is important to realize: speaking “yes” to one, we automatically say “no” to another, and often to the family and other loved ones.
Do not be afraid to ignore the message from who do not want to communicate with, or answer a firm “no” to an uninteresting offer or inappropriate request, because, perhaps, otherwise your child will again be left without an evening fairy tale.
We do not value ourselves enough
One of the reasons why we lack confidence to refuse, afraid to hurt him or her feelings is that we do not consider ourselves the right to set our own interests above the rest. When asked why she still continues to work, Joan Rivers, one of the most successful comedians in the world, once replied that she was driven by fear: “If there are no records in my calendar, it means that no one needs me, then, everything that I did in life was in vain. So everyone forgot me or is about to forget “. But then she was already over 70 and she was a living legend!
Isn’t that sad? And this need to be necessary to eat in each of us.
We did not increase muscles to defend the borders
We are all subject to weaknesses. We reach for the phone to find out what’s new on social networks. We allow Netflix and YouTube to offer us a new video, and then one more, and one more, and more. Not against the boss wrote to us in the middle of the night in an urgent matter.
We are not protected by anyone: the secretary does not sit in the reception room, and in office spaces there are no more walls or even partitions. Anyone can get to us at any time. We cannot tell the secretary like the bosses in old films: “Don’t connect me with anyone today. If anything, I’m not “.
“I thought a lot about what I would like to see my life,” Ryan Holidei recalls. – I thought about it, conducting long negotiations on the phone, instead of limiting myself to a short letter. Or sitting at a meeting, which could well replace a telephone conversation. This is an wasting time I could spend on something really important: on the family, reading. Unlike Joan Rivers, I only rejoice
when my calendar is empty. I know for sure what I want to waste time on, and I do not want to be stolen from me “.